5 ways to deal with homesickness

Moving out of the birds' nest to venture out on your own can be both a victory and a reality check. On one hand, you are finally free. You can come and go as you please and most importantly, you can eat peanut butter on toast three times a day without anyone calling you ‘lazy'. You can pump up the music, walk around in your undies and play FIFA until the chickens come home to roost, still, no-one will put you on blast unless of course, you have a roommate. But still, you have a lot of freedom to live your best life.

On the other hand living alone can be a reality check because now you’re considered an adult and thus you need to do ‘adulty things’ like paying rent and utilities etc. Nothing says welcome to adulthood than bills, bills, bills- no wonder Destiny’s Child asked the important question ‘Can you pay my bills?’.

Besides the bills, if you are living on your own you often tend to have many quiet, awkward ‘in between’ moments. The ‘in-betweens’ are those times where the silence is so deafening that no amount of loud music can drown it out. They are those times where the only noise that can fill that silence is the sound of your mother cooking in the kitchen or your father cheering while watching a soccer match. Or your nephew and niece playing and laughing in the distance. And when those days of ‘in between' hit you, all you can do is long for the birds' nest, your family home, the one you so desperately wanted to escape.

I have found that in my ‘in-between' moments, I am always comforted by the things that remind of home. And so no matter where I move I always make sure that I bring a piece of home with me to my new place. 

Here are five things you can do to help you deal with homesickness when you are far away from home.

Pictures of family and friends

Print out some pictures of your family and friends and put them up somewhere in your apartment. Whether it’s on a wall or on the door of your cupboard, somewhere where you can see them often. This has helped me a lot as it reminds me of all the people that I love and those who love me.

My wall of fame.

Home treats

Bring some treats from home or look for things that you would normally eat that will make you feel closer to home. And if you cannot find any, ask friends or family to send you a care package with some of your favourite goodies.

I made sure that the first items I got when I first arrived here were peanut butter and jam. When I am feeling down I just buy some bread, slap on some peanut butter and jam and then I'm good to go.

I found Skippy...

My friend recently came to visit me and she brought me some spices, curry powders and soups from home. This has really been so amazing because I get to cook dishes that remind me of my mom.

Knorrox cubes, my life was not the same without you!

Rooibos/earl grey tea

    Well, this is pretty much the same as the above. Pack some foods or drinks that you love. For me that was tea. I love tea. I feel like tea makes everything better. So I needed to make sure that I packed in some teabags from home. I mean Koreans drink a lot of tea but they are not really big on Rooibos or milk tea. So I made sure I stashed some in my bag before I came here.

    I also found some Lipton Ceylon tea, which has really been my go-to drink during my ‘in between’ moments.

I also found some Milo, yippieee!

"Soft as a mother's love."

A blanket or any item 

Bring an item that reminds you of home. This can be a blanket, a photo frame or just a flower vase, it doesn’t matter. This will add that 'homey feel' to your place and help you feel more comfortable.

To me, nothing says home comfort more than a blanket. My mum has a special cupboard for her blankets and she insists that you only use the mink blankets during the thickest of Winter. Maybe ask to take a blanket from home to your new place to add that 'homey feel' to it.

I personally had no space for the mink, that thing is heavy, but I did bring a cute little fleece blanket that I wrap around me every now and then to remind me of my mom's hugs.

Music for the soul 

Lastly, I don’t know about you but music soothes my soul. So when I am feeling a little low I hook up a good playlist of some South African artists that I like and blast that music until I feel better. I have even gotten to the point where I can listen to South African Jazz music without skipping a track, lol.

Another thing I do is to try and keep up to date with what is happening back home in terms of TV shows as well as current affairs. I sometimes binge watch Skeem Saam and The River just to feel a little closer to home.

So find music or TV shows that remind you of home and put them on when you are feeling a little low. Check out the news websites from your country to find out what is currently happening and keep abreast of any changes that may affect you when you return.

Some Sesotho hymns just for control.

These are just a few things you can do when homesickness rears its ugly little head. Some people may argue that one should cut out most of these things and focus on the new culture around you but I personally think that people deal with change in different ways and that it is okay to miss home and indulge in some familiarity in order to cope with the frustration.

Most importantly, when you are feeling homesick, you should talk openly about your feelings with your friends and call home to let them know that you are thinking about them. You may be missing them but I bet they are missing you and thinking about you even more than you know.

Do you have any other suggestions on how to deal with homesickness? If so, drop a comment below. I'd love to hear from you.